Planning for the Life You Want

Are you living the life you want - the life you dreamed of?

If not, what is holding you back? 

Most people tell me that their financial resources are holding them back. Women especially feel that a life full of splendor and magnificence is only for the Rich and Famous and that they must have an abundance of money to be happy. Too often then settle for the stifled and mundane instead and figure that is their lot in life. They don’t realize that real abundance comes from peace, joy and freedom and NOT from money. It is the Freedom to do the things you want to do because of your wise financial life planning.

I would guess that everyone at some time has settled for less, when in our hearts we probably knew we could have had so much more. However, we were just too tired of trying or maybe too afraid we would fail to go after what we truly wanted. We let our negativity win. And that is our enormous soul-depleting loss.

In the past, typically out of laziness and not feeling up for a taxing negotiation, I would let my husband make many of the important decisions, such as what the next family vacation was. With only a few weeks off a year, this time away can set the tone of our family life for a long time. By letting go of what I wanted, I ended up with something I absolutely did not want, such as spending 10 years staying with my in-laws at their tiny house in Miami for our vacation (typically for 2-3 weeks at a time). I know, for most of you, I need say no more why this isn't my dream vacation. Yes, we saved a lot of money avoiding hotel costs, though the financial saving benefits were not enough for me to justify it. We could have spent the same amount of money and did something that added a lot less stress and bonded us together as a family.

At the start of this year, I decided I was going to stop settling and absolutely going to get what I WANTED out of life and not just for the little things, such as the family vacation, but also the big things, such as creating a new company and moving to Brazil. My husband is learning to adapt to my new style even though it means he gets less of what he wants. I figure since he spent the last 14 years as captain of the family, it is now my turn to get off the sidelines and dive in for some fun game play and glory.

So far my efforts are paying off! I started a new company with my cousin Thereza this year and it was chosen as a finalist by the Cartier Women's Initiative Awards. Out of 600 global applications, we were one of fifteen companies selected. So now, I am off to Paris for a nearly all expense paid 10 days at one of the nicest hotels in the world so our company Bolsa Cheia can be honored! Now that is a lot closer to my dream vacation than 2 weeks at the in-laws!

In just a few months, once I changed my thinking about how I was going to live my life, everything started to magically line up. I set a vision to have a magnificent vacation and move our family to Brazil. I didn’t let my lack of financial resources hold me back from having these thoughts even though the exact details of how my plan was to be carried out weren’t clear. I just focused on what I LOVE TO DO and what I do well, which is to apply my entrepreneurial skills and fearlessness to create new business opportunities.

As a result, I ended up getting exactly what I wanted in a round-about way. I didn’t create a new company just to get my dream vacation, it just worked out that way. I didn't create a company just so I could move to Brazil, though it appears that is what will happen.

The wonderful point of this story is that YOU can do this too. There is no secret to my success. Create a plan for the life you want and commit to it. Not the life your friends, family or co-workers want for you, but the life YOU want - the  LIFE that gets you jumping out of bed every morning eager to begin. Then be sure to solidly hold that vision in your head. Perhaps you might want to even create a vision board and post it on your wall to help remind you of your goals every day. Then summon the creative genius that is lying within all of us waiting for its wake-up call to help you achieve your goals.

Though I didn't do a vision board for my vacation specifically, I have done something similar in the past. When I was 16 years old, I had a picture of a convertible RX7 in my locker in school and then moved it with my to my college wall for 4 years. When I moved to San Francisco 7 years later, I bought my dream car! Though the exclusive car seemed impossibly out of my budget at the time, I never gave up hope.  It took me 7 years and an unexpected windfall of money to achieve my goal, but I did it.

The same thing happened when I was looking for an apartment. I stood at the corner of the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco and stared a row of flats and said to my girlfriend, "This is where I want to live!" It was NOT close to our price range. Though, 5 years later, I moved into that exact row of Flats I was looking at. Due to the good fortune of rent control when my boyfriend (now my husband) had inherited when he rented the place, we were able to move in at about 2/3rds off the average rental price. Did I let my lack of financial resources hold me back from dreaming of the life I wanted? No, I didn't. Did I actually need abundant money to move in there? No, because of the special situation with rent control.

Amazing things can happen to you the same way if you just open your heat and mind and allow yourself to dream BIG!

I have dozens more stories just like those above that I will share throughout the year. So stay tuned!

Does Your Advice Come From TV?

Are you an ardent watcher of Oprah and her cadre of experts such as Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Suze Orman and Jean Chatzky? Or is television the last place you would turn to advice? Along with many of my friends, you might not even own a TV, let alone trust it for advice.

I have gone through life-coaching training and the advice from life-coaching experts is NOT to give "advice" in the classical sense. Instead you should steer people in the direction of resources and finding and trusting their own inner wisdom that holds the personal solutions they need. So when I watch "in your face" advice TV that comes so boldly out of Dr. Phil when giving relationship financial advice, or Suze's mouth during her fiscal fitness sessions, my body instinctively cringes. Yet, it is exactly this type of personalities that thrive in TV ratings. Why?

When I was recruited to go to London to host a TV pilot called Live Your Life at Half the Price potentially for BBC, I jumped at the chance. After 10 days of filming, I had a new perspective of TV production "British Style" (think British Tabloids). They didn't really want my personality as is, they wanted me to channel the same type of energy that Suze Orman has and call the subjects naughty (with their money) and they need to get their act together, or else! They wanted a sassy American to come in and shape up their citizens spending and debt habits.

Later on in my career, I was called in to shoot a TV pilot for CNBC for your average investor called Main Street Money. I had a blast with my co-host Mr. Money: aka Mark Rothstein, however, CNBC also wanted me to be someone I really wasn't, with over-the-top Mad Money Jim Kramer-esq antics. I did the best I could making comments and asking pressing money questions to guests such as Mint Founder Aaron Patzer (who I initially thought was a handsome soap opera star on the set to film his next All My Children episode - how funny he was my guest and probably thought I was Mad Money's daughter with my crazy hosting approach.)

In both cases, these shows taught me an important lesson, which was to honor who I really am. If "in-your-face" advice and commentary that appeals to the least common denominator is not my style, then I shouldn't do it. We women need to honor and follow our true calling in life, which will lead us on the shorter path to success. So as an alternative, I created a TV network called Thrive Media  and steered clear of "their" way. My way landed me a nice big fat paycheck in the bank. After I sold Thrive Media to Viacom, Disney launched a similar network (Live Well ) and now Oprah is about to launch her network OWN, which I am eager to tune in.

You might be wondering if I get my own advice from TV. I would say no, though I do glean a lot of valuable information from TV, especially Oprah. I file and store it away in my brain and circle back to tune into my own inner wisdom channel for personalized solutions only it can provide.

So if TV isn't your thing, keep in mind Ms.Money has nearly a thousand terrific articles on personal finance education at MsMoney.com.

I hope you click on over.
Tiffany

A Feminine Manifesta

A Feminine Manifesta
All HAIL to the Goddesses Lily and Karen who have created this spectacular book. Though it is diminiutive in size, it is packed with the knowledge women so desperately need to create more happiness and success in their lives.

Watch the YouTube Video to see a glimse of their sparkling personalities. Though nothing can capture the pure essence of actually spending an afternoon with them. I had the luxury of taking a relaxing lunch talking about how we were on the same path of helping make the world a better place for all Goddesses. Ok, we included some chatting about our men too.

My husband happened to call literally one minute after I was raving about his remarkable balance between the Yang (masculine) and Yin (female) energies that balance all lives. Though he isn't perfect by any means (like the rest of us mortals), he does have a good grasp of many things the book talks about in relationship to men.

The afternoon was full of endless giggles. So much so that I am sure the entire restaurant turned around when I laughed out SO LOUD (that you could have heard me from across the street)when Lily and Karen said they videotaped their entire adventure On the Road to No-Oprah (for her open casting calls in L.A. for her new network). Their on the road to no-where adventure did go no-where particular (besides pure fun) since it didn't lead to a spot on OWN. Which, by the way, I can't wait to see!! And I am wondering where is the Ms.Money show? Isn't Suze about to retire and they need some new young blood?

We had a couple synchronistic moments during our sharing that only a true believer of a magical Universe that aligns up for your wishes could fathom. What is this you are saying Ms.Money? You are talking about the Universe, magic and goddesses? Uh - yes. Well, I am writing this after a nice glass of Shiraz with dinner.

How else do you think I was able to get the First Lady (Hillary at the time), to show up in my office for my company launch if I didn't believe in some sort of divine intervention along the way. When you conceive, and believe, you can achieve - as long as you continue to utilize all your resources and best efforts to make your goals happen in multiple creative ways.

What makes the book especially poignant for me are the segments on how women too often view other women (even their best friends!) as adversaries rather than allies. I could never be where I was today if I thought that was true. During some of my darkest moments where I had trouble believing in myself, it wasn't the men in my life that raised me up, it was the thoughts of my dearest soul sisters and their unfailing love for me that gave me the inspiration to keep going. And though I grew up without sisters, I have filled my life with so many now that I feel empowered enough to actually think that I can make a difference and make the world a better place. After educating 5 million women in the world about money, I certainly have my girl friends to thank and should maybe give myself a little pat on my back for even allowing their love into my life (which apparently for us business orientated women can be quite a challenge).

Ladies, I can not recommend enough that you read this book A Feminine Manifesta and learn what holds you back from living your best life so that you can fine tune your actions and draw in a spectacular new future so full of promise that even you will be awed.

Are You Being Overcharged Too?

Nothing irks me more than knowing I am being overcharged, whether purposely or accidentally. Except for finding out about the mistake too late to fix. We all know that life gets busy and we let things slip through the cracks. One of those things should NOT be reviewing your credit card statements monthly. Or if you are the more diligent type, you might want to do it weekly just to make sure things are in order.

In the past my husband and I both make the mistake of letting this important review task go for a few months and he lost $800 because a surf shop in Brazil charged us twice for the same surf board. I was charged over $500 by Globat for domain name services I told them I didn't want on the phone with their President. In both cases, our credit card company would not resolve the issue, nor would the company.

You think the credit card company is on your side, but actually they aren't. You have to go to extreme lengths, which might be more time than it is worth to have something resolved. I tried to get Mastercard to refund a $500 airplane ticket that I had cancelled on the phone with American and their phone service rep must have forgot to do it. I explained several times to Mastercard that I had made the call, but they sided with American Airlines. The funny thing is that I had re-booked and paid for a new flight as a result of cancelling that first one and they still didn't consider that evidence enough that I cancelled the flight. I probably could have wrote half a dozen more letters and made more phone calls until I pestered them so much that they reversed the charge, however, my time was more valuable at that time in life.

The reason I am writing this blog today isn't about the big ticket items above, it is about the small items. I have to ask myself, if you are only overcharged $1 for something, is it worth waiting 10 extra minutes for customer service to refund you? And if it isn't a $1, then is it $3? What amount of money are you willing to forgo to allow yourself to relax, kick back, ignore the monitor and the check out stand, and fully trust your cashier?

I was at the local grocery store today where it is one of the few places that sell raw milk since Whole Foods discontinued selling it. At this store, I was a little more conscientious than usual shopping since I know it costs 25% more for food there than at Whole Foods, which is already 25% more than your average grocery store. So when I was at the checkout stand and my tiny organic cauliflower rang up at $3.99, I figured that was high. I decided to double check the price on the way out and it was indeed what I thought: $2.99. I made the decision to tell the cashier to refund the difference. However, this seemed like such a big surprise to her that she didn't know what to do. They had to do price check and then I had to wait for her to finish 2 people ringing up their carts, and then she processed my $1. 10 minutes lost. I think 10 minutes of my time is worth more than a $1.

So if you want to avoid waiting for a refund (and wasting that 10 minutes), you might keep a watchful eye on the monitor as you are being rung up; whether it is Target (which is notorious for overcharging), Macy, or your local grocery store. Mistakes happen all too often, and whether you are just catching $1, $10, or even more, every little bit helps as you save for your financial plan so you can live the life you plan.

-----------

I had to add one more comment a few days after the original post because I just noticed on my bank statement that is charged me the same $25 monthly charge twice. I wrote a note to them asking why and they refunded the double charge. So strange! At least I caught it this time.

Nagging Inner Critic

At the Pachamama luncheon yesterday I met a life and business coach, Francois Levannier, that was truly inspiring.

Francois himself is an exception role model for people who feel they may be held back from reaching their dreams because of a lack of financial resources. Francois didn't that let money (or the lack of it) stop him from his dream of a life of travel. He toured the world, not for 1 year, or even 2 - it was 7 years! Way to go Francois!

I noticed in his blog he makes reference to pop culture and music as a way to bring more light into your lives through self reflection. I often do this too! His blog post on the success of Susan Boyle struck in inner chord within me. No matter how many times I have succeeded in the past, I still have this nagging inner critic that often questions what I am doing!

Here is a snippet from Francois blog below. Read the entire blog here:
http://loveyourlifeandbusiness.blogspot.com/

His website: www.loveyourlifeandbusiness.com/

Why does Susan Boyle touch us so deeply?

The truth is that we all have a bit of Susan Boyle in us. And this is a story about the triumph of our supreme gifts and talents over our nagging inner critic, imagined weaknesses, and perceived insufficiencies.

It is a story about the triumph of Love over Fear.

Characterized in an older language, it is the mythical triumph of Good over Evil.
Being a witness to that triumph fills us with hope and restores our faith.

Susan Boyle is a reflection of the disowned parts of ourselves that aren’t as glamorous and as easy to look at as our shadows or insufficiencies. We’d rather look away to find something shinier outside of ourselves. Yet, when we look at those parts free of judgment and give them a chance to be seen for what they truly are, they reveal surprising gifts and unleash their tremendous potential of Love, Compassion, and Understanding.

As a matter of fact, if you look at ANYTHING in the world with curiosity and without judgment, you will see only Love.

Life Re-Engineering

I am about to embark on a grand adventure next year and move to Brazil with my family. As you can imagine, I am incredibly excited about all the possibilities. When I tell others about my new life direction, their words say one thing, their emotions say another. Though they verbalize they are thrilled for me, their sense of sadness is poignant. They don't want change. They don't want to lose a friend or consider what that will mean for their life. Certainly I can't picture most of my friends moving across the world because it would be just too frightening for them.

Many people resist change because the fear of the unknown is so debilitating. For me, instead, stagnation is the scary thing. I love a new challenge and can't wait for synchronicity to flow into my life to line up people, places and events to benefit me, just like magic.

An example of synchronicity:

Yesterday, I was thinking about this topic of internal innovation and re-invigorating one's life and 4 separate events all happened within a space of hours to support my thoughts and let me know I was indeed on the right track with my life.

Synchronicity #1

I received an email about an upcoming seminar by FWE&E (an organization I used to belong to) in Silicon Valley:

Your Personal Innovation Brand: Shifting Perspectives in Any Economy

Speakers include two fascinating women you should learn more about:

Dee McCrorey, Chief Risk Guru, Innovation Catalyst and Business Coach of Risktaking for Success LLC and

Patti Wilson, Managing Principal of the Career Company. She is an expert in applying Social Networks to help professionals grow their careers opportunities and consulted with Linkedin on growing the subscriber base.

I finally might have some extra time in Brazil to focus on building my social networks and apply them to my new business objectives. These 2 women are experts at career innovation and I love the fact that Dee calls herself a Chief Risk Guru. That might be a title I could see assigning to myself too.

Synchronicity #2

I attended the Wealthy girl reunion in Sausalito on the waterfront with unusually warm weather at night so we sat outside (quite lovely). A photo is included above with me on the right and Adryenn Ashley on the left. Alicia Dunams is the founder of the Wealthy Girl Summit and an amazing woman you will want to know if you are growing your personal brand or career.

The topic for the event was what women were passionate about in their lives and how many of these women re-engineered their lives to follow their dreams. (Perhaps I may have led the round table conversation a teeny bit in this direction.) For example, one woman was a tax attorney who now is a recyled jewelry designer. One of the participants summed up her life change perfectly: "It was either do what I love, or stay at my corporate job and end up in rehab!". I vote for option 1 any day.

Synchronicity #3

An acquaintance happened to show up at the restaurant for the Wealthy Girl event who lived in Brazil for many years and his brother is a real estate developer now in Rio. His brother just sold a $40M building that day. Hmmm ... what a coincidence! I am putting him in touch with Hans (my husband) for some networking! This person also happens to be going through some career (and possibly personal) innovation too due to the struggling economy.

The last time I saw him was down the street and another event that Alicia Dunams helped organized for a book launch, however it was just a coincidence he was there last night.

Synchronicity #4

I picked up an old 2007 Oprah magazine at home (quite by accident) with a cover story titled: Get a Life Lift! The search for meaning, connection, hope and finding what works for you.

Also within this magazine was a quote from Jack Kornfield and his book After the Ecstasy, The Laundry. I bought this book at his Spirit Rock Retreat Center after an amazing day of meditation and dance and the most stunning spiritual meditation and vision I have ever experienced. It is one of my favorite books.

"We don't know all the reasons that propel us on a spiritual journey, but somehow our life compels us to go. Something in us knows that we are not just here to toil at our work. There is a mysterious pull to remember." Jack Kornfield

Ahhhh ... yes, something mysterious is pulling me to Brazil and I look forward to what lies ahead, good or bad, with an open, mind, heart and spirit and of course a magnificent smile (after all it is Brazil - watch the Brazil Olympics video and you will see why smiling mandatory.) The tag line at the end is:

Live Your Passion

Wow ... wasn't I just talking about that?

I guess that makes it Synchronicity #5

By the way ... I have already lived in Brazil a few months 11 years ago and have visited several times since (even spent 3 weeks there last summer). My husband grew up in Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We took a year off for our honeymoon and traveled around the world to 50 cities and 30 countries. Visit www.e-trip.com for photos and stories.

Life is adventure ... start living it!

Organizing Heaven

Something is happening in my life and it is a wonderful blessing. Now that my daughter is 8 months old, healthy and happy (and crawling), and my 7 year old son is thriving, I am able to take a breather and focus on myself for a change.

What is the first thing I have done? GET ORGANIZED! Not just my personal life, but also my professional life too. Hurray for MsMoney.com!

You may notice that my Ms.Money blog has a new look to it. I also reorganized my old blog into categories for easy reference into this new blog. Though some articles are a few years old, the content is timeless because it typically makes no reference to current events. This means they are likely still to be relevant to most people's lives regardless of what is happening in the economy or the world in general.

Take a peek and check them out if you haven't already, you may just find the pearls of wisdom you were looking for. And don't forget to share them with others.

*Personal Insight
*Zen and Money
*Children and Money
*Money Savings Tips
*Health and Money
*Holiday Spending Tips
*Emotions and Money
*Tax Time Tips
*Women And Money
*Personal Finance

I am committing to blog every day now for the next 30 days and aim to share personal insights and news that can help empower you personally and financially!

With love,
Ms.Money